Who do you think is the most foolish person? The one who keeps worrying, ending up ruining his peace of mind or the one who stays happy despite the odds in life?
Obviously, the first category of people would be the siliest of all!
Now, how do we fit in the ‘happy’ bundle of people? It’s actually very simple- Stop worrying! I know! I know! You would say how can we stop worrying when an avalanche of troubles break?
Read along… the answer lies here itself! All we need to do is to dig deeper and find a way.
What is worry?
Worry!!! It is not an alien to us. We all experience this nagging feeling at sometime or the other. Worry is primarily based on fear and uncertainty. It’s the anxiety caused when we think we might lose something important to us.
But have you observed that we spend most of our lives by worrying on events that do not even transpire. A high percentage of worry rests on imagination. Mark Twain put this as ” I’ve had lots of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” Our wild imagination, especially the one inclined towards worry tends to be more painful than the reality. We tend to overthink and hence imagine far fetched issues, not realising that we are pushing ourselves into the ravine of stress, which does more harm than good. Van Wilder once noted “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”
Say, for instance, you are expecting your final results tomorrow and here you are, worrying about what if all goes wrong!
Or when, you are traveling in a decrepit bus and dang, you got drifted in weird thoughts of “What would happen if the bus meets with a terrible accident and I die on the spot!” You even go an extra mile and feed this unrelenting thinking process into wondering “And if I die, what would be the state of my family – I am the sole breadwinner and I do not even have a life insurance! Oh God! I’m stuck!!!”
See, you are screwing your life by these mind nibbling stupid thoughts!
Now, what is the solution? We, humans are used to worrying over trivial issues and plan fearfully for their future! We are so keen to dewire our healthy brain neurons by overwheming stress and sometimes utterly unnecessary negative thinking.
No!!! The remedy is not all ‘not to think negatively’ as in- “No, I’ll be alright! I WON’T DIE!!! The bus is strong enough to support so many passengers!” Blah Blah! This again is driving you towards incessant worry!
Solution & Understanding
The most sensible way to tackle this silly human psychology is to proceed by (depending on the situation)
1) either taking out a solution to the issue or
2) By understanding the fact that this particular event is out of our control; so it’s better to accept it the way it is.
FOR EXAMPLE, let’s say you are worried and fear failure at the mere start of your university courses. This is sheer stupidity as you are fretting on the study you have not yet begun to grasp the concepts well. But, you, standing on the very first step of your courses, are relentlessly banging your head thinking about the FINAL examinations results!!! C’mon! Don’t be so silly! It is something that we all undergo at some point or other! But, when we give it a thought, we come to realise our foolishness.
This is a situation that can be sorted. For instance, you could start your revision and pay good attention to your studies as from the beginning so as to feel and act confident by the year end. So, here, that anxiety got followed up by a solution oriented mind which did not only help to alleviate that agonizing thought but got you on the right track.
The second situation might be of that person who kept worrying about his tomorrow’s final results or the one travelling in that ‘dangerous’ bus.
This situation would call for understanding!
That student should try to comprehend the matter instead of beating himself up on something that has already transpired. He should understand the fact that “Yes, I have worked my papers or I have given out my 100%- whatever happens tomorrow would be a direct reflection of my input.
The results are beyond my control. If I succeed, it would be great but if I fail, it would be even better since I will get the opportunity to strike back again, this time, with better preparation and I am certain that the failure will make me stronger.
See, in matter of minutes, the pointless worry got vanished. This is how one approaches to such situation.
Now, let’s navigate to the mind of that fearful person in the bus. What he can do is somewhat as such:
“What am I thinking about? It might all be unrealistic!”
He might add on ” Fine! What if I die? How does it even matter? Things and events that are bound to occur will occur anyway and they are completely out of my grasp. If I’m destined to die today, so be it! Besides, death is the ultimate truth of life! Be it via a bus accident or at home, if death is destined to knock, it will by any means! So why worry on things that are unchangeable?!
Again, UNDERSTANDING helps you to be logical and tension free!
Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening. It just stops you from enjoying the good. Worry only gets beneficial if it is subsequent by either a solution driven attitude or understanding the depth of the situation or both.