“OMG, would a dumb person like me be able to fit in this room of straight A’s?
“Good Lord! What if I end up making a mistake and get reprimanded?”
“Is he telling the truth- Am I really intelligent? I doubt!!”
“If only my nose was straighter…then I’d be confident and happy!”
“I wish I could earn as much as Eric…my life would have been better!”
Well! Do these statements ring true in your life? If yes, you are somewhat suffering from something known as inferiority complex (IC). This is when you try to be like someone else, agreeing to forego your individuality! This threatens one’s self esteem, rendering one mentally, hence physically weak.
And do not be shocked if I tell you that it’s completely normal to feel so! Fret not. We have all been there. Human beings have that tendency to measure up to one another. According to social comparison theory, this drive is part of our basic desire to understand ourselves and our place in the social world. But dwelling too much on these judgments has a cost since comparisons tend to be unfair- we are most likely to compare our worst traits with their best ones. Booom! We start to feel inferior! We start to feel left out!
Feeling inferior is healthy when we use it to learn from others; when we utilise it to improve on our weaknesses; when we wield it as a tool in a view to better our life!
But, it becomes self destructive if we let this inferiority turn to a complex! No one has attain heights while demeaning oneself. Beware! This doesn’t mean we should go around belittling others!
Symptoms of IC.
• Getting into relationships expecting the other person to fill a void in you
• Feeling an urge to hide your true feelings and to instead put on a false face to convince people you’re better than you think you are.
• Trying to control, blame, or harm other people
• Inability to accept compliments.
• Getting easily manipulated
• Experiencing feelings of anxiety, reluctance to trust others, low self-worth, and fear of rejection.
Is there a remedy to it?
Of course, there is. Each and every problem has a or many solution(s). You simply got to have that calm and composed state of mind to accede to the remedies.
○ Accept yourself
Know that no one is perfect. Everyone is armoured by flaws which are not meant to feel inferior about but to improve on. It’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. You are unique and so is each and every being. I once came across this powerful wordings “When you know yourself, you’re empowered. When you accept yourself, you’re invincible!”
○ Self talk
This is a very important aspect in one’s life because the conversations you have with yourself is the ones with the universe. It is the command you are invoking to be manifested. Brene Brown rightly said “Talk to yourself as you would do to someone you love.” Do not damage your belief system by hurling negative words to yourself!
If the negative self talk is followed by a solution to work on your weakness; then it is healthy. BUT if it ruins your inner peace and bellitle you; abstain from it; replace it with positive and realistic self talk.
○ Count your blessings
We humans tend to ignore our blessings and are bent on worrying on how to ‘adorn’ our lives with things that are missing from it. But by being grateful for what you already possess makes you feel good about yourself. It makes you realise that you’re very fortunate. Atleast once a day, do practice gratitude. Cynthia Ozick once observed “We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”
There are so many things in and out there to be thankful for- beauty lies in the eyes of the behoder. For instance, you’ve might feel blessed to have a lovely family, amazing friends, good health with your body parts in great working order, the breathtaking sunrise and sunsets, oxygen to feel and be alive, all necessities to live a luxurious life, to name a few. Even your life, your past mistakes, heartbreaks, disappointments, fears, happiness and pain! All these help to create a stronger and a better you. All these feelings enable you to soak in the beauty of life and acknowledge your deepest emotions!
You are human. You should not feel embarrassed by any emotions you feel- acquaint yourself to them and accept.
○ Know that you have a predestined path
All of us have our predestined paths which we are to tread on. Some things may not happen exactly as you expected them to be but this doesn’t mean you’re ruined! It only means that you are being prepared to walk along that path. Everything is preset. That is why different individuals have different lives. You cannot compare red and blue though they both form part of the category ‘colours’- similarly, though we all form part of the human race, we are all incomparable. We all are endowed with special attributes. The trait found in Mr X may be missing in Mr Y. Just because your past didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to be, it doesn’t mean that the future cannot be better than you have imagined it!
Trust yourself. Trust your life path. Trust the ways of the universe.
○ Work out on your weak points
You feel you always fail to impress with that great presentation; you have trust issues; you feel too much or you are sensitive too criticism. Any bad points you can think of.
So what if you’re weak at many areas of life, it is not the end of the world! Help is everywhere – Ask yourself or enquire with people or acquaintances or jump to the various internet sites. The solution is sitting there, waiting to be the key to your lock (problem).
Sometimes you simply need to step outside, let some fresh air of life enter the temple of your body and remind yourself who you are and what you want to be. Know that you are enough.