You are the reflection of what you see in others.

Have you ever wondered what intrigues you the most about the people you meet?! What is that or those trait(s) of that person which you fail to overlook every single time? What is that attribute that catches your attention about almost everyone you encounter, subconsciously causing you to become judgmental?

Pause and think hard. There has to be something.

Because whatever your answer turns out to be is in in fact a hidden message that holds the key to your inner self. A message which would lead you to the path of introspection, dealing with traveling deep down within yourself. A message which pushes you towards self reflection, eventually acting as a guiding light to SELF-GROWTH.

What is that message?” you ask.

It is ‘YOU ARE THE REFLECTION OF WHAT YOU SEE IN OTHERS.’ Confused? You might be saying “No, this is not true! How can I be similar to that annoying person?” It might sound silly but ditch all your prejudgments for a while and ponder on the above statement.

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Everyone is your mirror. We can only see in others what we are ourselves. People who we meet, people who annoy us and people who gladden us are a perfect reflection of our innermost relationship with ourselves and the beliefs we have acquired over our lives. Everything you appreciate or despise about others belongs to you. HOW? In order to recognise any trait in others, it must first be known to your consciousness. Otherwise, it is unnoticeable.

Every traits you see in your closed ones, whether you admire it or not, is actually mirroring your inner self. For instance, if you are enraged by the competitive nature of your friend, dig deep down within yourself and you will find that you too are competitive. When you see yourself disliking a certain quality in someone, it shows either your underlying discontenment in the way you are or you are aspiring to become as such but in vain -the fact it is not happening no matter how much efforts you put in, emerges out as anger. Or simply, it’s a product of your beliefs! Basically, it all boils down to your inner undisclosed side deep within.

Now, what is the use of knowing “everyone is your mirror.” How does it help?! This mere realisation has the power to alter your perceptions about yourself and others to the best. People who get on your nerves are your best teachers ! They get you acquainted with yourself. They help to accede to those emotions, feelings and beliefs which are discreetly nibbling your inner peace. But once you come to terms to and accept wholeheartedly those deeply hidden factors therein, you wide open the door to limitless solutions. And guess what, you escape a whirlpool of endless frustration which would have emerge had you got carried away by dwelling on the seething anger you sense upon contact with that particular person.

If you are uncontrollably annoyed by someone’s behaviour, thinking pattern or thoughts, you need to dump all biasness rightaway and act as an observer to ask yourself “what is it about this person that troubles me? Is this trait present in me?” Once you begin asking questions directed to yourself, something incredibly magical happens. Countless answers to pertinent questions unfurl and find their way to you.

However, this kind of instropection exercise is manageable by only a few; those who are open-minded enough to question their OWN beliefs, thoughts and behavioural patterns and objectively act upon them; those who have a learning attitude towards life and refuse to be bound by any opinionated beliefs thrusted upon them.

Are you bold enough to challenge your conditioning that has been a rigid part of you since childhood? If yes, you are to embark on a self enriching path where you are AWAKENED.

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Concious Breathing.

Ever encountered frustrating situations?! Getting taunted or bullied, not being heard, being badly scolded, stuck in an annoying traffic on a Monday morning. These are some simple examples which at, some point or other, activate our ‘hot buttons.’ And what do the majority of us do? We buzz with anger. Sometimes we react so impulsively that we often end up regretting our embarassing behaviour later on.

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Why does this happen? Why can’t we intercept this mishap before it surfaces? Why do we lose our cool in the wake of annoying situations? Many would answer “It’s easy! I’m angry because of that person!” But having said this, have you really tried enquire the real reason behind this ‘irritation?’ Have you not slammed hard the door of any further enquiries by playing the blame game?! Then, how on earth would you ever get any honest and effective answer to this pertinent query: “Why is it that is actually bothering me about this event/person?” Is there even a way to get to the solution?

A simple answer to that is a resounding YES! And NO! It does not pertain to doing away with your provocator or gulping down any magic potion whatsover! You simply got to breathe. Yes, you read it right :BREATHE!

“Breathe? But I breathe all the time!!!” Yeah! We do breathe but are we really aware with each breath we take in and release? Are we??! No, we are not! We are so distracted by mundane stuff that we are not even mindful of our own bodily natural movements! We are so LOST!!! The breathing I am talking about has everything to do with being aware! Being watchful! Being concious! This is what I call ‘Concious Breathing.’ Think hard. What is the thing that you always carry with you anywhere, be it indoors or outdoors and it is controllable?… It’s your BREATH!!! It is always with you. Then why not make the utmost of it? Especially in quirky situations!

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Here’s how your breath helps you to go for ‘Concious Breathing:’ Someone or something provoked or angered you? You are frantically seething with rage! Hold on! Don’t begin lashing out. Give yourself a moment. Breathe. Watch yourself as you INHALE…EXHALE. Feel your breath. Feel it making its way into your nostrils and finding its way out. This is ‘Concious Breathing‘- a state of awareness where you resort to acting wisely instead of instinctively! Now, how can one’s simple breath manage to simplify out things? This is because when you grant yourself this fleeting, yet crucial moment of concious breath, you’re actually pulling yourself out from the disturbed and enraging situation to land in being in the NOW. This simple exercise qualify you to gain a much better perpective of the whole situation in front. It clarifies out things, allowing you to consider the causes and effects of any further actions you might want to take. And guess what, you become far more alert and pave your way to being a calmer person who provides himself the time to think before acting.

You’re free to decide upon your next action since now you are in a position to choose your reactions. You become peaceful and can think out what is apt to do next, depending on the severity of the situation.

#breathing #consciousness #frustration #happy #life #peace #actions #reactions #awareness

Opinions vs Reality.

Do opinions stand on the same grounds as reality? Do assumptions and perspectives perfectly correlate to actual facts? If you nod yes, I beg to differ.

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What are opinions, beliefs, presuppositions and perceptions? Aren’t they those that are shaped by people’s experiences, thoughts and personalities- Those people who are different owing to their respective life experiences which vary. Different persons, different opinions! So, is it reliable and wise to trust (any) opinions and thereafter form the basis of one’s decisions upon them?! Clearly NOT!!!

Opinions and the reality are two separate things. The lower the gap between the two, the better off the person is and the lesser does he suffer. Suffering, i.e ‘mental pain’ is caused when people begin to cling to opinions and notions instead of trying to discover the facts related that particular matter. Suffering basically originates from expectations from others which tend to be unrealistic most of the times, miscommunication which end up in baseless assumptions, and ignorance which pulls one miles away from the truth, to name a few.

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Try this mighty exercise:

Pause for some time. Peek deep down yourself and take any life event, preferably one which brought you suffering. Now ask yourself its cause. Think hard. Why did those avalanche of pain fell upon you? Did you found yourself, back then, holding onto a lie, supposition or opinion, whatever you call it? It has to be. Because had it been the truth that you hinged upon, you would not have suffered. The reason is simply the fact that the truth merely needs to be accepted the way it is. The truth is unquestionable and SAME for everyone whereas opinions vary and are debatable. The truth frees whilst lies and beliefs binds!!!

Let’s take a simple example. For ages, people have had endless conflicting and diverse opinions of the shape of the Earth. But once, the scientifically proven reality emanated, all beliefs were shaken up and there came an end to ages of clashing arguments!!! This is the POWER OF REALITY. One becomes FREE. Free from both inner and outer conflicts, free from any judgements since one comes to know that people’s opinions are subjective and have no bearing whatsover on the truth.

The CHALLENGE of life to seek the truth which is unambiguous. Be it in relationships, work life or spiritual life. The more the clarity, the closer you are to bridge the gap. Whenever you find yourself seething with ‘mental pain,’ immediately grasp that you have been sticking to a lie. And of course, do not stop unless and until you have dug deep enough to reach the reality! This is where suffering dies and absolute freedom takes over.

The truth has no opinions attached. Truth is what is it. People may juggle between countless opinions, viewpoints and assumptions but the reality is unequivocal and selfsame for EVERYONE!

#opinions #reality #beliefs #lies #assumptions #perception #suffering #freedom #truth

Disarm your hot buttons.

Verbal taunts, criticisms, rude comments or even shoulder ‘bumps’ are provocations that at a point or another hammer our hot buttons. Sometimes they are pushed hard enough to evoke us to explode. These buttons differ from person to person but are inherently ‘installed’ in each one of us.

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Now the underlying question which persist is : how do we wisely deal with these provocations and make an objective attempt to disarm our hot buttons?!

To emerge out successfully from this ‘anger cycle,’ you can either have recourse to either understanding or compassion.

Every provocations are reactions based on your personal emotions and experiences. They are in fact underlying issues screaming loud to be unbottled. Thus, when any kind of situation threatens your beliefs or challenges your ‘insecurities,’ you succumb to your hot buttons and resort to anger as a defense mechanism! For instance, if since childhood, your hard work has never been acknowledged- maybe it now flares you up if someone fails to accredit your efforts!!!

This becomes a never ending war unless you seek the refuge of understanding and this is HOW you do it:

● Be detached. Pull yourself from that infuriating situation and watch the whole scenario as if a fly on the wall witnessing the situation. Watch your mind without any bias. Try to understand what is dictating your behaviour and ask yourself some pertinent questions as: “why am I so easily triggered by this person’s behaviour? Why is it about him that make me lose all my sanity? Am I insecure? How do I neutralise this?” From hereon, you make it to the ‘divine path’ of growth and utter awareness since you now grant yourself the tools to identify and work on your trigger points. This does not only set you free as a peaceful being but also puts you on a healthy trail of learning- Learning how to be better with each growing day.

IMAGE CREDIT: Pixabay

Coming to compassion, not everyone possess a great mind to be able to accede to this powerful instrument since it requires one to be fiercely mindful.

● Train your mind into knowing that provocations are mighty traps. Once you fall prey to them, there begins a saga of needless sufferings- Anger!! Frustrations!! Disappointments!! Moodiness!!

If ever you are inflamed, take a deep breath. Indulge in some healthy self talks such as: This is a vicious whirlpool. I cannot sacrifice my saneness and imprison myself. Why should I emulate his anger and jump into this raging fire? When he calms down, I might reassess this matter and try help him to overcome his weak points.

Be compassionate to yourself and others. Be wise enough to decipher when and where to wield which tool for the greater good.

Provocations, if get victimized by, one gets trapped in a limitless loop of negativity and pain. Learning what triggers your hot buttons make it easier for you to cool down, look for effective ways to counteract them and hence breathe a life of harmony.

#anger #frustration #disappointment #hotbuttons #freedom #understanding #compassion #mindfulness #harmony #life

A paradigm shift

Are you frustrated upon why things do not go your way? Are you fagged out when witnessing your each and every life plans getting foiled? Or are you a planner freak as in ‘NOTHING should never ever happen without prior utter planning?! If you answer a big YES, then you really gotta change something in your life. A change which would grant you peace of mind through an objective acceptance of life.

We humans believe that we can control absolutely anything, especially our life. We keep planning out things- “my life should be as such; if this happens, I’ll dance with joy but if that happens I’ll recoil in grief!”

Are we sure… super confident that whatever we plan will always turn out to be the best for us and for everyone out there? NOOO! WE’RE NOT!!! Still, when our scheme doesn’t ensue as expected, we curse our fate and begin to play the blame game, leaving us too weary to be solution oriented. And usually, the problem lies within us!

We are blatantly unaware on how to deal with what life ‘throws’ at us! Uncertainty, the middle name of LIFE, is what drives us daily! Life emerges out unexpectedly. It is mere foolhardiness to be awaiting our plans to perfectly materialise!!! No, I’m at no point asserting that we should refrain from having plans- now that would be like living an aimless life! Because this is also true that if ‘we fail to plan, we are actually planning to fail!’

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But what I mean to translate is that yes, do make plans but don’t be upset if they do not go your way. Don’t get slipped into a series of depression which lead to nowhere. Rather, understand the lovely ways of life and how it evolves. We people cannot fully decide what is ideal for us since our choices and decisions are mostly limited to ourselves but the universe which is well coordinated with every aspects of life, has a way better insight about what is best for us and the greater good than we ourselves even realise. Know that everything happens for the best. We simply need to identify how to perceive things in the best view possible.

Charles Swirdoll beautifully put this “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

#life #disappointment #anger #joy #grief #frustration #beliefs #expectation #react #universe #choices #decisions

Pride to dominate others’ opinions?

This does not at any point lead to self development and overall welfare of either! But it rather belittle the opposite person’s in some way and trigger one to shelter an inflated self image!

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Opinions simply mirror one’s experiences, level of understanding and perceptions. While Mr X might have a better knowledge on a specific issue due to his constant scrutiny thereon, Mr Y might be completely or partly ignorant on the matter. Hence , instead of thrusting one’s opinions on him, Mr X should try to embrace the virtue of understanding, thus taking into account the uniformed condition of Mr Y. Following this humble attitude, Mr X does not only softens his approach but also display butter-like smooth communication with the person which eventually make the latter dedicatedly imbibe the knowledge being shared.

A teacher does not feel superior by winning any arguments of opinions against his student but in lieu resorts to a comprehensive outlook in regards to his pupil’s ignoranceby wearing the cloak of humility at all times, attempting to deliver his best in imparting the right knowledge to him.

The world is a gargantuan ocean of teachings and awakening, in the refuge of which fishes called teachers and disciples reside. Knowledge is omnipresent. It can be grasped from absolutely anyone- from elders, youths, flora and fauna and the inanimates. I play the role of a teacher at a time and then become a student at another! Being gulped by a sense of superiority while being a master and being crushed by a feeling of inferiority while being a student defy the whole purpose of granting and attaining knowlege for self enhancement and for the greater good.

Image Credit: A.J. Juliani

I am either a teacher or an apprentice at a given point in time which demands neither supremacy nor mediocrity!!!

Take control of yourself.

When a person misbehaves, disagrees or insults you, the most obvious and ‘easiest’ reaction is to snap back at them. And this is exactly where you get stuck up in a whirlpool of anger, frustration and unfulfilment. And I’m not at all kidding! It’s a matter of fact.

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Think about it yourself! Pause for awhile. Travel in a flashback of a kind of ‘undesirable’ situation. The scenario might be… A friend of yours misbehaved with you and you revert back doing the same!!! Did this calm you and the situation down or it was further aggravated?! I’m certain that the latter was the unfortunate result!!!

Why so? Simply because we people do not gauge our actions before implementing them out. Basic human behaviour! At the sense of any threat, we immediately jump out for action- impromptu! Well, this would have been highly useful, had we been cavemen! But, now, since we grew out of that state, it’s time to take control of ourselves and think before pushing ourselves in a pitfall of uncertainties where we are ignorant of what could be!

People are unchangeable They are uninfluenceable. Internalise these golden words. People form opinions on the basis of their upbringing, experiences and thoughts. How on earth do you think you, someone who himself is glued to his own opinions unwilling to alter it, will be able to affect and change that of the opposite person?!! And when you fail in influencing that person, you foolishly resort to anger! Ironical!!!

We are living in a world of obstinate people, including ourselves, where no one really consents to change at the behest of others! So, why do you get offended or affected by whatever people say or do?! Just as they do not hold the power to shake up your beliefs, so don’t you!

Stay calm. Be composed. Do your thing and let them do theirs. Act in good faith. Each and every one of us is driven by our own personal lines of thinking and behavioural patterns. If you can do nothing to amend their thoughts and actions, sit back, relax and observe them- entertain yourself and grab some lessons from the situation. Besides, learning is everywhere.

Don’t, at any point, let yourself get stripped of your peace of mind and calm nature merely due to having no appreciation, acknowledment or reciprocation from the opposite person. Don’t give away that personal power of yours. At no cost!